{"id":73379,"date":"2022-06-14T12:12:25","date_gmt":"2022-06-14T08:12:25","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/fedai.az\/?p=73379"},"modified":"2022-06-14T12:12:30","modified_gmt":"2022-06-14T08:12:30","slug":"sill%c9%99l%c9%99ri-s%c9%99n%c9%99-vurdum-adimi-kisi-qoydum-arvadini-q%c9%99zada-itir%c9%99n-%c9%99rin-m%c9%99ktubu-rekord-qirir","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/fedai.az\/?p=73379","title":{"rendered":"«Sill\u0259l\u0259ri s\u0259n\u0259 vurdum, ad\u0131m\u0131 ki\u015fi qoydum…»-arvad\u0131n\u0131 q\u0259zada itir\u0259n \u0259rin m\u0259ktubu REKORD QIRIR"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

35 ya\u015fl\u0131 az\u0259rbaycanl\u0131 ki\u015finin q\u0259zada d\u00fcnyas\u0131n\u0131 d\u0259yi\u015f\u0259n h\u0259yat yolda\u015f\u0131na h\u0259sr etdiyi m\u0259ktub \u00fcr\u0259k da\u011flay\u0131r.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

«M\u0259zar\u0131n\u0131n ba\u015f ucunda oturmu\u015fam… \u00c7oxdan oturmu\u015fam. Soyuqdur. Donmu\u015fam dey\u0259s\u0259n. T\u0259rp\u0259nm\u0259k ist\u0259mir\u0259m. Ba\u015fda\u015f\u0131ndak\u0131 \u015f\u0259klin\u0259 bax\u0131ram. G\u00fcl\u00fcms\u0259yirs\u0259n, amma b\u0259b\u0259kl\u0259rin\u0259 hopub b\u0259db\u0259xtliyin. Bu \u015f\u0259kli m\u0259n \u00e7\u0259kmi\u015fdim. Fotoaparat h\u0259diyy\u0259 olunan g\u00fcn. M\u0259nim s\u0259nd\u0259n milyon d\u0259f\u0259 \u00e7ox d\u0259y\u0259r verdiyim qad\u0131nlardan biri ba\u011f\u0131\u015flam\u0131\u015fd\u0131 onu. \u00c7ox sevinirdin-\u00e7\u00fcnki ilk d\u0259f\u0259 idi s\u0259n\u0259 «g\u0259l, \u015f\u0259klini \u00e7\u0259kim\u201d demi\u015fdim. Y\u00fcy\u00fcr\u00fcb sa\u00e7lar\u0131n\u0131 qaydaya sald\u0131n, paltar\u0131n\u0131 d\u0259yi\u015fdin. M\u0259n is\u0259 q\u0131\u015fq\u0131rd\u0131m: «Tez ol! Yoxsa \u00e7\u0259km\u0259y\u0259c\u0259m\u201d. Bu sevinci d\u0259 s\u0259n\u0259 \u00e7ox g\u00f6rd\u00fcm. G\u00f6zl\u0259rin doldu. Vecim\u0259 d\u0259 olmad\u0131. \u015e\u0259klini \u00e7\u0259kdim. S\u0259n bilm\u0259din niy\u0259. Sad\u0259c\u0259 g\u00fcl\u00fcms\u0259din-ax\u0131 \u015f\u0259kil \u00e7\u0259k\u0259nd\u0259 ham\u0131 g\u00fcl\u00fcms\u0259yir. Nec\u0259 m\u0259nas\u0131zd\u0131r. Fotoaparat\u0131 qurdalamaq \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn \u00e7\u0259kdiyim o \u015f\u0259klin sur\u0259tini \u00e7\u0131xartd\u0131r\u0131b g\u0259tirinc\u0259 min d\u0259f\u0259 yalvartd\u0131m s\u0259ni…<\/p>\n\n\n\n

K\u00fcl\u0259k \u0259sir. Ev\u0259 getm\u0259k ist\u0259mir\u0259m. S\u0259nd\u0259n daha \u00e7ox vaxt ay\u0131rd\u0131\u011f\u0131m, u\u011frunda sa\u011fa-sola pul x\u0259rcl\u0259dikl\u0259rimi d\u0259 daha g\u00f6rm\u0259k ist\u0259mir\u0259m, ba\u015f\u0131m\u0131n tac\u0131…
Ba\u015f\u0131m\u0131n tac\u0131???!! G\u00f6r\u0259s\u0259n bunu son d\u0259f\u0259 n\u0259 vaxt demi\u015f\u0259m s\u0259n\u0259? Dey\u0259s\u0259n he\u00e7 vaxt\u2026. Bunu dem\u0259k \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn \u00f6lm\u0259nimi g\u00f6zl\u0259dim?! Amma s\u0259n \u00e7ox dedin…<\/p>\n\n\n\n

S\u0259ni h\u0259mi\u015f\u0259 \u0259n ax\u0131r\u0131nc\u0131 yer\u0259 qoydum. M\u0259nd\u0259n «b\u00f6y\u00fckl\u0259r\u0259\u201d dey\u0259 bilm\u0259dikl\u0259rimi s\u0259n\u0259 dedim, \u00fcz\u00fcn\u0259 t\u00fcp\u00fcrm\u0259k ist\u0259diyim \u0259claflara vura bilm\u0259diyim \u015fill\u0259l\u0259ri s\u0259n\u0259 vurdum, b\u00fct\u00fcn g\u00fcn\u00fc s\u00fcni t\u0259b\u0259ss\u00fcml\u0259, ham\u0131ya xo\u015f g\u0259lim dey\u0259 \u00fcz\u00fcm\u0259 taxd\u0131\u011f\u0131m «m\u0259d\u0259ni insan\u201d maskas\u0131n\u0131 t\u0259kc\u0259 s\u0259nin \u00f6n\u00fcnd\u0259 \u00e7\u0131xartd\u0131m. D\u00fc\u00e7ar oldu\u011fum u\u011fursuzluqlar\u0131n ac\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 s\u0259nd\u0259n \u00e7\u0131xd\u0131m, ad\u0131n\u0131 «ki\u015fini ki\u015fi el\u0259y\u0259n arvad\u0131d\u0131r\u201d qoydum. H\u0259mkarlar\u0131m\u0131n aya\u011f\u0131m\u0131n alt\u0131n\u0131 qaz\u0131mas\u0131n\u0131n, v\u0259zif\u0259si m\u0259nd\u0259n \u00fcst\u00fcn olanlar\u0131n t\u0259hqir v\u0259 h\u0259d\u0259l\u0259rini udub-udub evd\u0259 s\u0259nin \u00fcst\u00fcn\u0259 qusdum. Ad\u0131n\u0131 «\u0259rkim \u00e7at\u0131r\u201d qoydum. Ki\u015filiyimi t\u0259kc\u0259 s\u0259n\u0259 s\u00fcbut etm\u0259y\u0259 \u00e7al\u0131\u015fd\u0131m. Vuran \u0259limin, dey\u0259n dilimin oldu\u011funu q\u00fcdr\u0259tli, a\u011f\u0131ll\u0131, s\u00f6z\u00fcke\u00e7\u0259n oldu\u011fumu t\u0259kc\u0259 s\u0259nin yan\u0131nda g\u00f6st\u0259r\u0259 bildim.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

S\u0259n\u0259 g\u00f6z\u0259l s\u00f6zl\u0259r dem\u0259yi \u00e7oxdan t\u0259rgitdim, ad\u0131n\u0131 «bu, \u0259tt\u00f6k\u0259nlikdir\u201d qoydum. Amma internetd\u0259, i\u015fd\u0259, orda-burda qad\u0131nlara bol-bol xo\u015f s\u00f6z dedim. N\u00f6mr\u0259sini o\u011flan ad\u0131 il\u0259 qeyd etdikl\u0259rim\u0259 gec\u0259 tualet\u0259 girib, romantik sms-l\u0259r yazd\u0131m. Sonra onlar\u0131n ba\u015fqalar\u0131n\u0131n ma\u015f\u0131n\u0131ndan boylanan ba\u015flar\u0131n\u0131 g\u00f6rd\u00fcm. Ad\u0131n\u0131 «x\u0259yan\u0259t\u201d qoydum. M\u0259nd\u0259n \u0259vv\u0259l \u00fcz\u00fc onlarla \u00fcz g\u00f6rm\u00fc\u015fl\u0259rd\u0259n v\u0259fa umdum. \u0130\u00e7dim,i\u00e7dim… Ev\u0259 g\u0259l\u0259nd\u0259 s\u0259nin mehriban \u00fcz\u00fcn\u00fc g\u00f6rd\u00fcm. \u00dcr\u0259yim birt\u0259h\u0259r oldu. Varl\u0131\u011f\u0131na \u015f\u00fckr etdim-gizlinc\u0259. S\u0259h\u0259ri g\u00fcn is\u0259 unutdum.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ehtiyaclar\u0131n\u0131 qorxa-qorxa dedin. H\u0259r \u015fey\u0259 deyindim. G\u00f6z ya\u015flar\u0131n yanaqlar\u0131n\u0131 islatma\u011fa ba\u015flayanda «bayqu\u015f, yen\u0259 d\u0259 ba\u015flad\u0131n\u201d dedim. \u018fl qald\u0131rd\u0131m s\u0259n\u0259. H\u00f6nk\u00fcr-h\u00f6nk\u00fcr a\u011flatd\u0131m s\u0259ni. A\u011flama\u011f\u0131 da \u00e7ox g\u00f6rd\u00fcm. «Ba\u015f\u0131m\u0131 yey\u0259n\u201d bu qad\u0131n\u0131 qar\u015f\u0131ma \u00e7\u0131xartd\u0131\u011f\u0131 \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn Allaha \u00fcsyan etdim.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ev\u0259 getm\u0259k ist\u0259mir\u0259m… En b\u00f6y\u00fck q\u0259birstanl\u0131q evimizd\u0259dir. O evin h\u0259r \u015feyi s\u0259n imi\u015fs\u0259n. Qablar\u0131 yumaq-faci\u0259 imi\u015f. O\u011flumuzun \u00e7oxlu suallar\u0131na cavab verm\u0259kkk…\u018fzizim…. M\u0259n is\u0259 el\u0259 bilirdim t\u0259kc\u0259 \u00e7\u00f6r\u0259k qazanan \u0259ziyy\u0259t \u00e7\u0259kir!! Ev\u0259 g\u0259l\u0259nd\u0259 m\u0259nim yor\u011funlu\u011fumu s\u0259n \u00e7\u0131xar\u0131rd\u0131n, b\u0259s s\u0259nin qay\u011f\u0131na kim qald\u0131, ay yaz\u0131q??!!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

D\u00fcn\u0259n \u0259n sevdiyim k\u00f6yn\u0259yimi yumaq ist\u0259dim. N\u0259 q\u0259d\u0259r \u0259zyiyy\u0259t \u00e7\u0259kdim, l\u0259k\u0259si getm\u0259di. \u00dct\u00fc is\u0259 lap z\u00fclm imi\u015f. He\u00e7 vaxt s\u0259nin s\u0259liq\u0259yl\u0259 \u00fct\u00fcl\u0259diyin k\u00f6yn\u0259kl\u0259ri geyin\u0259nd\u0259 minn\u0259tdar olmad\u0131m. Onlara ba\u015fqa qad\u0131nlar\u0131n \u0259tirini, kir\u015fan\u0131n\u0131 hopduranda vicdan\u0131m s\u0131zlamad\u0131, sad\u0259c\u0259 beynimd\u0259 n\u00f6vb\u0259ti yalan\u0131n m\u0259tnini d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnd\u00fcm. S\u0259n bunu bildin, amma \u00fcz\u00fcm\u0259 vurmad\u0131n…
Sevdiyim yem\u0259kl\u0259ri bi\u015firm\u0259kd\u0259n he\u00e7 yorulmad\u0131n. M\u0259ns\u0259 t\u0259\u015f\u0259kk\u00fcr etm\u0259yi a\u011fl\u0131mdan bel\u0259 ke\u00e7irm\u0259dim. H\u0259mi\u015f\u0259 yedim, doydum v\u0259 sad\u0259c\u0259 g\u0259yirdim. \u018fll\u0259rin\u0259 qurban olum, h\u0259yat\u0131m\u0131n d\u0259y\u0259ri! Ka\u015f sa\u011f olayd\u0131n, bir quru \u00e7\u00f6r\u0259yi g\u0259tirib qoyard\u0131n qaba\u011f\u0131ma. Milyon d\u0259f\u0259 \u0259ll\u0259rind\u0259n \u00f6p\u00fcb «\u00e7ox sa\u011f ol\u201d dey\u0259rdim….<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Yata\u011f\u0131ma girm\u0259k ist\u0259mir\u0259m gec\u0259l\u0259r. O yataq s\u0259n\u0259 qad\u0131nl\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 unutdurdu. H\u0259mi\u015f\u0259 t\u0259kc\u0259 \u00f6z\u00fcm\u00fcn n\u0259 ist\u0259diyim m\u0259nim \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn vacib oldu. S\u0259nin n\u0259 hiss etdiyi he\u00e7 a\u011fl\u0131ma da g\u0259tirm\u0259dim. Ya arxam\u0131 \u00e7evirib yatd\u0131m, ya da «ba\u015f\u0131m a\u011fr\u0131d\u0131\u201d.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

M\u0259n s\u0259ninl\u0259 b\u0259y\u0259nm\u0259d\u0259nmi evl\u0259nmi\u015fdim? Yox. O\u011flumuzu d\u00fcnyaya g\u0259tir\u0259nd\u0259n sonra sallanan qarn\u0131ndan diksin\u0259n\u0259 q\u0259d\u0259r s\u0259ni b\u0259y\u0259ndim. S\u0259n g\u00fcnd\u00fczl\u0259ri ayaqlar\u0131n\u0131 divan\u0131n alt\u0131na ke\u00e7irib, yerd\u0259 uzanaraq idman etdin ki, formaya d\u00fc\u015f\u0259s\u0259n, xo\u015fuma g\u0259l\u0259s\u0259n. M\u0259n is\u0259 s\u0259ni \u0259l\u0259 sal\u0131b, m\u0259nliyini q\u0131rd\u0131m. S\u0259n diqq\u0259timi \u00e7\u0259km\u0259k \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn tv-d\u0259ki qad\u0131n proqramlar\u0131ndan \u00f6yr\u0259ndikl\u0259rini etdin, m\u0259n s\u0259ni la\u011fa qoydum. S\u0259n bunlara nec\u0259 d\u00f6zd\u00fcnnn?? Niy\u0259 d\u00f6zd\u00fcn? \u0130t kimi pe\u015fmanam. Ka\u015f indi olayd\u0131n yan\u0131mda. Yerd\u0259 diz \u00fcst\u0259 \u00e7\u00f6k\u00fcb o\u011flumuzu b\u0259tnind\u0259 da\u015f\u0131yark\u0259n damarlar\u0131 partlam\u0131\u015f o ayaqlar\u0131ndan \u00f6p\u0259rdim. M\u0259n\u0259 \u00f6vlad b\u0259x\u015f etdiyin \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn milyon d\u0259f\u0259 s\u0259n\u0259 t\u0259\u015f\u0259kk\u00fcr ed\u0259rdim…<\/p>\n\n\n\n

O\u011flumuz…Onun h\u0259r \u0259ziyy\u0259tini s\u0259n \u00e7\u0259kdin. \u018flind\u0259 i\u015fl\u0259rin bir-birin\u0259 qar\u0131\u015fanda, yem\u0259k ocaqda yananda, u\u015faq durmadan a\u011flayanda ancaq q\u0131\u015fq\u0131rma\u011f\u0131 bildim. S\u0259n\u0259 k\u00f6m\u0259k etm\u0259yi, q\u0131zarm\u0131\u015f kotleti tavada \u00e7evirm\u0259yi, ya da balam\u0131z\u0131n qusub-bat\u0131rd\u0131\u011f\u0131 k\u00f6yn\u0259yini d\u0259yi\u015fm\u0259yi yax\u0131n\u0131ma bel\u0259 buraxmad\u0131m. Ad\u0131n\u0131 qoydum «m\u0259n ki\u015fiy\u0259m\u201d. Gec\u0259l\u0259ri s\u0259h\u0259r\u0259 q\u0259d\u0259r o\u011flumuz a\u011flad\u0131, s\u0259n yatmad\u0131n, m\u0259n is\u0259 «k\u0259s d\u0259 o …… s\u0259sini\u201d dedim. Amma ba\u015fqa vaxt a\u011f\u0131z dolusu «M\u0259nim o\u011flum!\u201d dedim.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u00c7iyinl\u0259rimd\u0259 oturub g\u00fcnahlar\u0131m\u0131 yazan m\u0259l\u0259k a\u011f\u0131rl\u0131q edir, savablar\u0131m\u0131n yaz\u0131lmal\u0131 oldu\u011fu \u00e7iynim torpa\u011fa bas\u0131l\u0131r. Ka\u015f torpa\u011fa gir\u0259ydim el\u0259 indi. S\u0259nin yan\u0131nda uzanayd\u0131m, ill\u0259rl\u0259 s\u0131\u011fal \u00e7\u0259km\u0259diyim sa\u00e7lar\u0131n\u0131 tumarlayard\u0131m. Aman Allah, y\u0259ni bu, do\u011furdan m\u00fcmk\u00fcn deyil?!! Bu saniy\u0259 s\u0259ni g\u00f6rm\u0259s\u0259m, d\u0259li olacam! Ka\u015f bu, bir yuxu olayd\u0131, s\u0259n sa\u011f \u00e7\u0131xayd\u0131n o d\u0259h\u015f\u0259tli q\u0259zadan. Niy\u0259 m\u0259n d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnm\u0259dim ki, yoxlu\u011fun bu boyda bo\u015fluq yaradar h\u0259yat\u0131mda? B\u0259lk\u0259 d\u0259 varl\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131n doldurdu\u011fu yerin b\u00f6y\u00fckl\u00fcy\u00fc hiss etm\u0259diyim \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn. Ka\u015f sa\u011fl\u0131\u011f\u0131nda bunlar\u0131 d\u0259rk ed\u0259ydim… \u0130ndi \u00e7ox gecdir. \u0130\u00e7imd\u0259- vicdans\u0131z \u00fcr\u0259yimin bo\u015flu\u011funda k\u00fcl\u0259k uluyur\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n

V\u0259 m\u0259n yetim qalm\u0131\u015fam-qad\u0131ndan yetim…»<\/p>\n\n\n\n

C\u0259lal\u0259 N\u0259z\u0259ro\u011flu<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

M\u0259nb\u0259: Azadqad\u0131n<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

35 ya\u015fl\u0131 az\u0259rbaycanl\u0131 ki\u015finin q\u0259zada d\u00fcnyas\u0131n\u0131 d\u0259yi\u015f\u0259n h\u0259yat yolda\u015f\u0131na h\u0259sr etdiyi m\u0259ktub \u00fcr\u0259k da\u011flay\u0131r. «M\u0259zar\u0131n\u0131n ba\u015f ucunda oturmu\u015fam… \u00c7oxdan oturmu\u015fam. Soyuqdur. Donmu\u015fam dey\u0259s\u0259n. T\u0259rp\u0259nm\u0259k<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":73380,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[12],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-73379","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-sosial"],"aioseo_notices":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/fedai.az\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/73379","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/fedai.az\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/fedai.az\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/fedai.az\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/fedai.az\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=73379"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/fedai.az\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/73379\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":73381,"href":"https:\/\/fedai.az\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/73379\/revisions\/73381"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/fedai.az\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/73380"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/fedai.az\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=73379"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/fedai.az\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=73379"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/fedai.az\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=73379"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}